Followings are a few personal accounts of the key participants in this project
Szilvia Balogh, Meséd Facilitator in Nagyecsed
Unemployment and poverty bitterly affects people in Nagyecsed but in these difficult times, a door of hope has opened for these women who are at home with a monotonous everyday life. The AGS project was introduced in our village through the Roma Education Fund (REF). One of the components of this project is Meséd, in which I act as a facilitator. I have three groups which meet weekly and where we get story books to read and discuss.
Wondering in the world of tales as adults is quite different from that of a child. After reading a story we discuss and reflect on, relating it on our real life. As a result we have gained new insights that we use or can use in our daily lives. Since the beginning of this program in Sept 2010, out of 48 mothers who have been participating, five have already started working. Through this activity they become awake of their self worth and grow in self-confidence.
They gain courage to speak up and to have an opinion. In a community event we presented two of these stories and it was a big success. The mothers have become highly motivated and read the stories to their children every day. Through this, their reading has improved greatly as well as their skills in speaking, communication and creativity. Two hours of relaxation and break from daily life waits for them every week. They like it very much and according to them they can hardly wait for the next session, something I can identify with myself.
Istvánné Máté Ági, Meséd Facilitator in Nyíregyháza
The “Meséd” project is a real pearl in my view. The mothers are extremely open and receptive. Honesty and love defines my relationship with them. From the beginning almost 90 percent of the mothers were willing to read. The rest had excuses of poor sight or hidden embarrassment for not reading well. What I have to pay close attention to is to treat them all equally. The mothers tell of their difficulties and share their thoughts and are very open to development. They have learnt from their own mistakes that the future of their children depends on education.
They often say that they became pregnant too early and couldn’t study but for their children they wish a better life. The stories bring joy to mothers and children equally. The name of one of my groups is “Cinderella,” a befitting name because they also work a lot at home. Not only do they do cooking and cleaning, they bring water and cut wood as well. They are honourable people who struggle in difficult conditions.
I am personally grateful to all who helped create this project for the benefit of oppressed Roma mothers and children. The two-hour weekly sessions are an oasis in the desert for these mothers. For me too this has brought much development since I have to be present for the mothers every week with new activities and real devotion. It has brought out of me much more empathy and joy working with them. I hope that the positive impact continues to bring results in the Roma families.
Eszter Sipos, Student, College of Nyíregyháza
I have gained a lot from the MesÉd program and can certainly say that it has been a determining part of my life. I found the idea of helping the mothers quite favourable since I, too, believe that the integration of the disadvantaged and Roma families in our society is important so I was very eager to join the program. I really enjoyed the sessions that I attended. I learnt to appreciate life, to know who I am and my own worth and value as a human being. I was brought up to see all as equals but after this experience I was indeed awakened not to be prejudiced against the minorities ever and also to try help others get rid of their prejudices.
After associating with these mothers I realized that, yes, they are human beings like me and you with similar thoughts. They have feelings of love, sadness or anger just like me. Their children are as important to them and they would give their all for them just as my mother would for me. Sometimes when I talked one-on-one with mothers I got a lump in my throat and was deeply touched in my heart. I believe mothers get a lot from this program. While having fun they learn a lot from the facilitator and from each other. They share things that perhaps they have not had an opportunity to express anywhere else. Here they can relax; they don’t need to measure up to anybody or anything. They can be themselves and accept each other and themselves as they are. I think this is so important.
Gréta Garai, Student, College of Nyíregyháza
The Meséd program gives a lot but mostly it gives knowledge and a new outlook, the kind of knowledge that helps the mothers with their children since one of the most important points of the program is the children. The children get to become familiar with books from an early age so if they go to school they will not be strangers to books and they won’t mistreat them, rather they would value them because they will remember that “mum also read books to me that were interesting and fascinating.”
The program has a deep effect on the parents as well. Here they learn to have a wider view of life, to appreciate and value what we have in life. While reading these story books they discover that little things count a lot in this fleeting life. If we notice these, we live a happier life. They share thoughts, concerns and experiences and learn from this exchange. Every parent is different but one thing is common in all of them and that is family, children and love.
What has it given me? Most importantly, I have decided that, when I graduate and start my profession as a teacher, I will arrange a parenting meeting like Meséd. I imagine that through this I can learn from parents what they expect from me, e.g.; child-centred selfless education through which I could give to each child the appropriate knowledge. Of course it depends on both me and the parents. I would like to see all mothers like the Meséd mothers who care for their children deeply. Together we can give a lot more to the children.
Érzsébet Emese Nagy, Meséd mother
A wonderful day at the kindergarten
I held a class at the Kindergarten. Inspired by my culture, I decided to do something with basket weaving, an art that has been an ancient skill in Roma culture. In the first part of the lesson we prepared flowers with the straw while I talked about different parts and the importance of the flowers to children.
They were very interested and happily participated actively. It brought us all a feeling of success
to see the result. After handiwork we played a game to do with names of animals, their sounds and places of living and food. I was delighted to see that children knew a lot about the animal world. After that I read them a story. They were very interested. I used the skills I had learnt in Meséd sessions to analyse the story and relate it to their own everyday life. The drawings in the book reflected the feelings related to the content of the story beautifully and children could notice this in a smart way.
To have a successful activity with children they need to be motivated and have a feeling of success and achievement. This session brought much joy not only to children but to me as well. It was uplifting to see my little girl who is part of the group being proud of her mother. It was a great experience and brought much joy and confidence for which I am thankful to all the organizers and sponsors.